Stress Of A caregiver And The Family Connection

Are you dealing with a tough situation of being the sole caregiver of a loved one? Taking care of your family is stressful, but adding the stress of being a caregiver of a chronically ill family member is extremely difficult.

Most of us had never given much thought of being the ones to take care of a parent, sibling, child, or spouse. Are you just starting on the venture and you have no idea of what is to come, you are not alone.

This will stress you out, make you cry, and wonder if you are doing the right thing. Where would they go, if you were not there for them.

If you have no siblings, you are feeling you are in this alone and you pretty much are. This will be difficult because you won't have any help with the care or decisions that have to be made.

But, even though you have sisters and brothers they may not want the responsibility of caring for parent, sibling, etc, etc...

They feel you are doing a terrific job, so why interfere. You are making the tough decisions and God help you if you make the wrong one.

Sometimes they will offer the task of handling the finances. That will make them feel good about themselves that they are helping but actually that is the easy part.

They don't realize, how hard it is for someone that needs constant care. Some are lacking coping skills.

They feel they would not be suited as a caregiver and others just don't want to carry that burden. Others feel that out of sight, out of mind is best for them.

It seems as though, some are suited for the caregiver roll and others are not. All too often, this job is given to the most passive child in the family.

The one that is willing to give up everything to care for the loved one. This isn't fair but this is what happens.

This job will try your patience each and every day. Sure there are good days but most are not.

Sorry.

Those that have a terminal or a chronic illness are the hardest to deal with. You know things probably will not improve much. And to those I send a loving prayer.

Being the caregiver. You have to take on tasks we never thought we would have to do.

Changing diapers on parents, cleaning them after using the restroom, sorting the medication or even bathing them.

Who ever thought they would have to bath their Mother or Father. That, in itself, is a daunting feeling. But, it has to be done.

Dealing with attitudes is another task. Sometimes the loved ones don't want to do something you ask or they fight you to get their own way.

They talk mean, throw things, kick, bite, slap, or whatever they can to get you to leave them alone.

Often, they are not aware of their actions or that this is hurting you. Then other times they know exactly what they are doing and are just being mean and trying to get you riled up.

You are their lifeline. Realizing this would make things so much better. Sometimes you need to remind them of this.

Don't let them get into self-pity because they will see how it affects you. If you let it affect you, they will use it constantly towards you.

They can moan, cry, yell, even tell you they want to die. This is to get back at you and make you respond and feel bad all at once.

I've heard some say it was the caregivers fault that they are sick. This will play on your emotions and they will know it does.

Tell them that you are doing this because you love them. But if they would prefer, you could make other arrangements for them if they are not happy with you. Not that you would, but they don't have to know that.

You may have to use some tough love tactics to get them to understand, that you have to live, too. You need to eat, relax, sleep, and have time to yourself.

All this will test your strength, stamina, love and patience.

Stay strong and don't forget about yourself. You are important, too.

It gets to a point that, if we don't take care of ourselves, the ones that need us most will have to do without.

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