The Effects Of Guilt

With Chronic Pain

The effects of guilt had me in in it’s grips. There had to be some changes that had to be made.

Learning how to deal with guilt was the hardest thing for me to do. Because chronic pain is a lifelong thing for most people, that getting past all the guilt for the sufferer, the family must move forward.

I, the wife, would schedule all the appointments for my husbands care.

This would include the surgery pre-op, doctors appointments, therapy appointments, picking up medications, making sure he didn’t run low on medications, making sure he was in as little pain as possible and so on.

The questions kept coming.--------

• “ Did you call and make my doctors appointment?”

• “ Do I have enough medicine to last next week, remember the doctor will be out of his office?”

• “ Have you called Workers Compensation about this or that?”

• “ Remember I have a doctors appointment tomorrow.”

This is how I overcame the guilt that had me tired and riddled with fatigue.

One day, I decided that this had to be shared by him. I was tired of being questioned if I had done something. Coping with the guilt was getting harder and harder. Something had to give.

I finally realized, I was being used and that he was capable of doing the calls himself. Also, I was doing way too much for him and he became dependent on me for everything. I had to learn how to deal with guilt that I was placing on myself.

There had to be changes made to help find the chronic pain relief he needed.

I knew his limitations and was more than willing to do what needed doing for him.

It was time for him to learn how to deal with guilt for himself. There was no cure for the injuries he sustained in his accident. The grief was something he would have to work through with help from his counselors.

He would have to realize that laying around was worse for him that getting up and moving. Sure it was painful at first.

I did feel bad for him but, I knew it would be best for him and all the family. In time he learned to pace himself and know his limitations.

On pain filled days, the coping was lost and anger was just a frown away. I understand this.

He still has these days and a quiet serene place for him to be, is alone. He can deal with the pain so much better.

Our lives have had such a positive change and less guilt, since these decisions have been made. He knows that, I will be there if he needs me, but depending on me for every little thing doesn’t work anymore.

He has the skills and knowledge to identify the factors that affected his pain intensively level and how to problem solve them.

He knows just how far he can push himself to get the things accomplished that he wants done.

He knows that if it can’t be finished today then tomorrow isn’t that far away.

Don't let the effects of guilt eat away at you. Discuss them and make some changes.

We can all find peace in our present and look forward to what tomorrow brings with hope.

Pain will force even the truthful to speak falsely. ---Publilius Syrus

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