Family Changes And Chronic Pain

Family changes and chronic pain affects everyone differently. Some are attentive and others are not.

When a family member is suffering with chronic pain or other acute illness, that person will receive increased attention because that is just what happens.

Family members gladly pitch in to help with the changes taking place. That person is excused of their normal responsibilities. But, when the pain becomes chronic and (lasting for some time) the attention decreased and physical complaints become more of the problem. Hearing about the pain all the time gets old. You just want them to change the subject.

The family gets tired of hearing the same thing all the time. That is when everyone is ready for the changes to go back to normal, but they won't, because with chronic pain it is usually permanent.

Family members know about the pain and everything that goes with it. There again, change the conversation.

All family changes are stressful and this one will be no different.

Here are three ways you may respond to them:

• First: When they start to talk about the pain, change the subject. Vary the conversation or get the family involved. Get them on a subject they enjoy. Everyone likes to talk about something they are interested in.

• Second: Ask them if you can get them something. Maybe they would like something to drink. A book, anything to leave the room. As people, we all like to be waited on.

• Third: Ignore them and risk an outburst. They may respond, "You are not listening", or they may clam up and say nothing else.

All this will take some time and patience on all the family before there are any changes made.

Sometimes they don't realize they are talking about the pain again. They just know it's there and it is weighing on their mind and body.

This is a good time to change the subject. The family can work on this together. Change is hard, we have all experienced it.

You should help them try to get their mind off the pain and onto something else. Help them gain some independence for themselves.

Let them do simple things for themselves. Get them involved with the family to help them change as much as possible. Family changes are better for everyone after this.

If they just sit and dwell on the pain and on nothing else, they will become more dependent on everyone in the household. We all need the feeling of being useful. Even for the smallest task, brings joy and fulfillment.

I know pain consumes your life, but people outside your family really don't care. Sorry to say.

Try making changes in how you deal with the pain in more constructive ways. Take a short walk outside if possible, try to occupy your mind with anything else.

It can be done, just relax and give a try. Change is healthy even for the pain and your mind, but change varies for different people.


A Side Note: In the outside world, nobody really cares how the pain is affecting your life(the pain sufferer). They ask, only to be polite.

Once my husband realized this, he now has new friends that enjoy his conversation. This really helped our family change directions.

Before our conversation about this, he had lost all his friends. You don't have to explain your pain, just say "Doing fine".

People will want to talk to you, and not attempt to leave you there explaining about your pain.

If this is hard for you, have your family help you with changing your attitude. If your family sees you're trying to make some changes and not talking about the pain all the time, this could bring some harmony to your family life.

Back To Families and Chronic Pain From Family Changes